The Introvert Power of Doing Nothing

This morning I opened my email and found 3 separate articles about loneliness. Two discussed the negative impacts of being alone while the third, written by Karun Pal, talked about The Power of Doing Nothing. But in a world that is spinning out of control this fact is often misunderstood. Mental Health Crisis It seems like every day I’m reminded of the mental health crisis that is destroying people’s lives. I know that loneliness can contribute to mental health problems but are we confusing loneliness and the desire or need to be alone? What is Healthy Solitude? In a 2023 blog post I wrote that “healthy solitude is good for everyone, especially introverts.” In that post I described the difference between loneliness and solitude. “Too much time alone can be bad for your health on the other hand not enough time alone isn’t good either.” Leadership expert Ray Williams has this to say about solitude and loneliness, “We’ve been wired to believe that solitude is our enemy. We’ve also confused “being alone” with “being lonely”. They are not necessarily the same thing. Being alone doesn’t cause loneliness and many people can feel lonely despite being the constant presence of other people. The truth is solitude is necessary for our well-being and potential success.” In 2025 loneliness has become a dirty word to be avoided at all costs. Children are rarely alone and when they are they are encouraged to watch movies or play games on their mobile phones. This often leads to other mental health issues such as anxiety. What is loneliness? I like the definition of loneliness posted on  www.verywellmind.com : “While common definitions of loneliness describe it as a state of solitude or being alone, loneliness is actually a state of mind. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact.” In 2018 in the UK loneliness was such a problem that the gov’t appointed a minister for loneliness. At that time, research studies argued that loneliness was a “silent killer” because it increased inflammation, heart disease, and dementia. Today we know that loneliness can also contribute to serious mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. Finding ways to combat loneliness is still a priority in the UK as it is in many countries around the world. Reengage is one example.  What has this got to do with introverts? As an introvert I will tell you that I like being alone and that I’m seldom lonely. I do have a large community of family and friends who I can reach out to if I want companionship. Mostly I enjoy being on my own. Would I feel the same way if I didn’t have people I could text, phone, email or meet up with? Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps I’m a “social introvert”.  In March I was on an author panel at the Surrey Public Library. For the first time in my life I enjoyed being at the front of the room talking with the other panelists and people in the audience. This was not the case when I was younger. As I’ve aged I’ve become more confident. I’ve also learned that I need to find a balance between the time I spend with other people and the time I spend alone. This is called wisdom. Perhaps the real reason so many of us feel anxious and unfocused is that we don’t know how to be alone. If you find yourself feeling tired, irritable, or anxious it may be time to pause and do something on your own: going for a walk, cooking a meal, listening to music, gardening, or just sitting quietly outside ….with your mobile phone turned off. And if you are feeling the need for connection psychologist Josie Santi suggests something called “micro moments of connection”. Say hi to people on your walk to the coffee shop, ask the barista how her day is going, engage with someone in line at the grocery store. I do this all the time. Sometimes it works and sometimes people ignore me. Last week I walked by a man who had just pulled the tab on a can of beer. As I walked past I smiled and said “that’s a happy sound”. He looked at me and smiled too. Most of the cashiers in the grocery store I frequent like to engage but the other day the fellow who was helping me looked like he would rather be anywhere else. When I put my groceries on the belt I thought “should I ignore him or should I say hi?” I chose the latter but he didn’t respond. Not everyone wants to engage so don’t make it about you. Teaching People How to Be Alone Loneliness can certainly lead to mental health problems but not everyone wants or needs to be connected all the time. As Karun Pal says “there is power in doing nothing”. Perhaps the answer lies in teaching people about the benefits of solitude and how to be comfortable being alone.

Introversion is My Superpower!

It’s been 10 years since I wrote The Dynamic Introvert. Last fall I was curious to see what people were saying about introverts and what I found surprised me. The first articles I read focused on introversion as a superpower. The one written by Adrian at the London University was directed toward students. The other, an article which appeared in the Telegraph, was written by Helena Morrissey. Morrissey’s article was entitled “Being an Introvert is a Workplace Superpower.” Both articles were published in the fall of 2024. Progress is Slow But despite having made a lot of progress in the last ten years there is still a lot of work to be done. We are still not seen as equal to extroverts when it comes to our leadership abilities. How do I know that? “In October, 2024 The World Economic Forum reported that “When you look at the average salaries of different personality types, one overarching theme emerges: Extroverts tend to earn more than introverts.” Personality Impacts How Much You Earn. And there have been other studies looking at how personality traits, specifically introversion and extroversion, influence lifetime earnings and career prospects. Why, despite all of the work that’s been done to advance introverts, are we still seen as being lesser than? Of course since 2014 more and more companies have recognized the value of diversifying their leadership teams. And individuals are more likely to be aware of their personality traits and how to showcase them to their advantage. “In his 2002 bestseller, Good to Great, Jim Collins popularized the idea of “getting the right people on the bus”. He was referring to an organization’s mandate to hire employees with the right combination of skills, attitude, experience and knowledge. And while Collins was not thinking about personality types specifically, his findings support the need for a quiet leader, one who listens and creates opportunities for others to contribute their ideas. Introverts Make Great Leaders Introverts are ideal candidates for this leadership model; they present a hidden advantage in winning the “war for talent”. 10 years has passed and thanks to the groundbreaking work of authors Marti Olsen Laney, Laurie Helgoe, Susan Cain and others we know that being an introvert is something to be celebrated, even envied. Over the past 10 years we have learned a lot about introverts and introversion. Some even see introversion as a superpower but there is still a lot of work to do to combat the negative perceptions of introverts.      

What Is A Dynamic Introvert?

“What is a dynamic introvert?” “What does the title of your book mean?” I was taken by surprise by Colleen’s questions. I thought about them for a moment and then I mumbled something unintelligible. As the author of The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose and an introvert myself I should have had the answers on the tip of my tongue. Colleen’s questions were spot on and my subconcious must have been on overdrive because shortly after I returned home, it hit me. The title of my book The Dynamic Introvert is a play on words. Perhaps not in the truest sense–according to Wikipedia a play on words is a literary technique, a form of wit, in which the words that are used become the main focus of the book. I certainly didn’t intend for The Dynamic Introvert to be a comedy (and there is nothing funny about how introverts are compared with extroverts and seen as wanting) when you feel overlooked and undervalued. What I did intend though was to grab the reader’s attention; to have them think about what it means to be an introvert and how our understanding of introverts and, in particular, introverted leaders, is changing. If I have learned one thing while researching and writing The Dynamic Introvert it is that we are all very different and none of us can be pigeon-holed. Of course there are introverts who are quiet and reserved. These introverts may prefer their own company to the company of others. But most of the introverts I’ve met along the way defy how introverts are typically portrayed. One of the most brilliant descriptons of a dynamic introvert comes from Judy Curson, a physician and educator in the U.K. who wrote, “I think many of us are dynamic. We just make less fuss and noise about being dynamic than some extraverts. Our energy and enthusiasm is often hidden from the external world.” Many of us are dynamic in the way that Dr. Curson describes. We can be social and dynamic the same way extroverts can be dynamic. Words such as gregarious, outgoing, fun, interesting and energetic could be used in place of dynamic here. These are words that I would use to describe the many dynamic introverts who I know and who could easily be mistaken  for extroverts.  Unlike extroverts who recharge by being with other people; dynamic introverts need down time to recharge their batteries. The above is an excerpt from an earlier blog post.

Writing Is Hard Work But Worth It

Is writing easier for introverts? Great writers know that spending time alone working on their craft is the key to success. For this reason writing may provide the perfect career choice for introverts. As best-selling author John Green said, “Writing is something you do alone.” But just because we are introverts and enjoy spending time alone doesn’t mean we will become great writers or that we will find writing easy. Writing is hard work! I love to write and over the years I’ve written blog posts, articles and a non-fiction book which I self-published. Now I’m working on my first novel. During the pandemic I started my novel with a bang. I thought I was doing all the right things (more about this in future posts) but what I didn’t anticipate was writer’s block. About halfway through the first draft of my manuscript I ran out of gas, juice, enthusiasm. Call it what you will but I had hit the wall. I couldn’t write. What was I afraid of? Years ago when I published The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose I expected (hoped) people would read my work and I wanted it to be perfect. After publishing The Dynamic Introvert I found myself waking up at night thinking “what have I done?” I was terrified of being criticized. More recently I’ve been looking into what creates writers block and came across the blog A Brilliant Mind written by Dr. Gayannee Kedia who is a neuroscientist, psychologist and mentor. Dr. Kedia’s on-line questionnaire and guide helped me understand that the root of my writer’s block is perfectionism. Perfectionism and writing don’t mix. And this might explain why I stopped writing for over a year. Deep down inside I was afraid of being criticized.  And this criticism can feel like we are being attacked personally. No matter what we write it will be personal on some level. We will leave a part of ourself on the page in full view for others to see. Memoirs are probably the most personal but no matter what genre, our writing is an expression of who we are. Is There An Answer? In my pursuit of an answer I came across a lot of suggestions from other writers. Finally I started doing timed-writings: 15 minutes became 30 minutes and 30 minutes became an hour. I discovered this idea in a Writer’s Digest interview with Jesse Q. Sutanto author of Dial A for Murder and other best selling books. When writing her books Jesse uses a timer to keep her on track.  Each day she does 4 x 15 minute sessions during which time she writes 2000 words. And then she stops. No editing. She goes on to something else and then the next day she repeats the process. I also kept reading about “the messy first draft” and it finally hit me. I just need to keep writing even if it’s nonsense. I don’t think anyone actually said this but that’s how I interpret it. Keep going! I have to remind myself to get those 85,000 words on the page and then I can start editing. Writing may be perfect for introverts but it won’t necessarily be easy. What works for you? How do you keep going day after day, month after month? Happy writing!  

Have Introverts Benefited from the Quiet Revolution ?

Susan Cain’s blockbuster book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking unleased a ‘quiet revolution’ that changed, for the better, how introverts are perceived. Before the Quiet Revolution launched introverts were compared with extroverts and were found lacking: “Introversion existed somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology, something to be overcome.” Thanks to Susan Cain’s advocacy, introverts were suddenly seen as having characteristics that were different but just as important as extroverts. What are some positive characteristics of introverts? Positive characteristics of introverts include the ability to, focus and concentrate, listen deeply provide a type of quiet leadership so badly needed in our frenetic, unfocused society All of a sudden it was ok to identify as an introvert and to ask for a quiet space in which to work or to be given time to think before asking questions in an important meeting. Following the release of Quiet many other writers and educators jumped onboard the introvert train and a flurry of articles, books, podcasts, and workshops appeared in rapid succession.  I followed Cain’s work and the work of others for some years and then moved on to other things. What is new in the introvert universe? Fast forward to last month when I checked in with Google to see if anything was new in the introvert universe. The Quiet Revolution has changed the culture of many workplaces and schools but it seems that we still have “a long way to go” as Cain noted in a 2022 Vanity Fair article. In this article, Susan Cain, Chief Introvert, Ventures Into the Sublime, Aaron Fedor asked Cain if she believed that introversion had surpassed its status as a second-class personality trait. Cain replied, “there’s still a long way to go…before introverts feel like they don’t have to disguise who they are in some way.” Where is all this leading you may ask? After not keeping up with The Dynamic Introvert blog I’ve decided to start blogging again. First of all I want to know why introverts continue to be seen as second-class citizens when it comes to their personalities. Secondly, I’ll go through The Dynamic Introvert Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose to discover what is still relevant and what is outdated. The idea is not to revise the book but to share what I learn with readers of The Dynamic Introvert blog. We’ve come a long way since the publication of Quiet but according to Susan Cain, we still have a way to go before introverts are seen as important as extroverts. What do you think?  

Quiet Is A Fast Depleting Resource

“Quiet is a fast depleting resource.”   Introverts need access to quiet spaces to maintain our health and well-being.  A fact we have been sounding the alarm about for years.  Now it seems that other groups are also concerned about the increased levels of noise in our cities and perhaps more alarmingly, in our parks. Where do you go when you need to get away from the maddening crowds? I find that a walk in nature is a perfect way to decompress, and I am fortunate to live close to a large rural park. Even then I have to pick a time when I know the park won’t be too crowded. I recently listened to a CBC interview with Canadian Jonathon Kawchuk, sound composer and volunteer with Quiet Parks International. Jonathon caught my attention when he said, “quiet solitude is a diminishing commodity.” As an introvert I find this fact alarming. Not only do I enjoy being outside in nature but my well-being suffers if I can’t find ways to decompress and recharge my batteries. I believe that everyone suffers to some degree if they are constantly bombarded by noise. Without sufficient time alone introverts may find themselves feeling irritated, unable to concentrate, anxious or depressed. Dark Skies and Quiet Spaces Despite the fact that many of us go to parks in order to get away from the noise and bustle of urban living recent studies by the United States Park Service found that “more than 60% of protected areas are exposed to noise that masks the natural sounds that would otherwise be heard.” Natural sounds such as birds singing, frogs chirping, insects buzzing, and rivers flowing are masked by the sounds of people talking loudly on their phones, recreational vehicles such as snow mobiles and off road motor bikes revving up their engines,  music playing loud enough to be heard on the moon and planes flying constantly overhead. Did you know that no single part of the Grand Canyon is free from aircraft noise? Some of the more popular parks in Canada and the United States see millions of visitors a year. The vast majority of them arrive by car or other private vehicle. Parks Canada recently made the unpopular decision to restrict vehicle access to Moraine Lake in Banff National Park. The decision was made in order to reduce stress on the wildlife and also decrease carbon emissions. Think Global, Act Local I was curious as to what was happening in my corner of the world and was pleased to learn about the Right to Quiet Society. “The Right to Quiet Society for Soundscape Awareness and Protection was founded in Vancouver, British Columbia in 1982 with the mission of raising public awareness of the detrimental effects of noise on health; promoting awareness of noise pollution and the dangers of noise to our physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.” The group’s mission includes “fostering recognition of the right to quiet as a basic human right.” Since its beginning in 1982 the organization has been instrumental in helping make Vancouver a quieter city and has been working with the Vancouver Parks Board. You can find their list of accomplishments on the website. What comes to mind when you think of parks? For me its green spaces, nature and quiet but if we don’t act soon our quiet green spaces will be gone. What can you do to help maintain quiet parks in your corner of the world? [contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]

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