The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

The Power Of Giving

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

The Power of Giving 1.  There is more to giving than the exchange of gifts! Greetings! For most of us it is traditional to give gifts to family and friends during the holiday season. But how many of us extend our giving to those outside this close circle? Recently I came across the book The Power of Serving Others, by Gary Morsch and Dean Nelson. Gary Morsch is a physician and the founder of the Heart to Heart Organization which provides relief to people around the globe. Dean Nelson is a journalist. Gary and Dean’s message is: You can start where you are! 1.  Everyone has something to give. 2.  Most people are willing to give it if they see the need and the opportunity. 3.  Everyone can do something for someone right now. There are MANY benefits for those of us who serve others. For instance, giving to others, in whatever way we can, gives our lives meaning.    Scientists have been busy studying the effects of giving on human health & behavior. In fact scientists are now discovering that “serving others is part of our genetic code”.  In March an article in Science reported that “people who spend more of their income on others are happier than people who spend more on themselves”. There are numerous ways you can give to others: volunteering and donating to charity are two of the most common, but there are other opportunities to make a difference. Kiva is a microfinance organization that is making it possible for us to transform the lives of people by giving them “micro loans”. In fact you can support someone by lending them as little as $25.00. This is possible because Kiva helps us to connect with others who are also interested in “micro lending”. Kiva’s mission is to connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty. This organization makes it possible for us to lend small amounts of money to entrepreneurs around the world. You won’t get a financial return on your money but your original investment will be returned and you will have made a huge difference in someone’s life. There is very little risk involved as the majority of loan recipients repay their loans. You can find out more by checking out Kiva’s website below. Finally, if you still need a reason to do something for others this holiday season, another research study has found, “that people who focused on themselves were more likely to have coronary heart disease, than people who focused on others.” Remember, you can do something right now!  As you make plans to celebrate the upcoming holiday season think about one small thing you can do to help someone else. Gumboot Rules These wonderful rules for life come from the Gumboot Garden Café in Roberts Creek B.C.: ·       The best things in life aren’t things ·       Never judge a day by the weather ·       Tell the truth—there’s less to remember ·       Speak softly and wear a loud shirt ·       Goals are deceptive—the unaimed arrow never misses ·       Age is relative—when you are over the hill you pick up speed ·       There are two ways to be rich, make more or desire less ·       Beauty is internal—looks mean nothing…and for those of us living on the wet, west coast…NO RAIN…NO RAINBOWS This month’s favorite websites: www.kiva.org This organization provides micro loans to people around the world who live in poverty. These people are entrepreneurs who need small loans to become self-reliant. I have been supporting KIVA for years. If you are travelling on the Sunshine Coast you really must stop in Roberts Creek and experience The Gumboot Café! This post was originally written for my coaching website and appeared as e-Newsletter #9, November/December, 2008 Lesley at www.thedynamicintrovert.com

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10 Reasons to Read The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

10 Reasons to Read The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose  According to personality psychologist and author Dr. Brian Little “It’s cool to be an introvert these days”.  And, as I’ve been discovering, the topic of introverts is “priming the pump” for a lot of interesting conversations. In fact, I had one of these conversations this past weekend with Corinne* a colleague who is enrolled in a leadership degree program at a university in British Columbia.  As we talked Corinne informed me that the first time she thought much about her personality was in the residency portion of her leadership program. It seems that one of the most transformative experiences was when her cohort completed the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and then debriefed it with their instructor.  Corinne is an extrovert and had never spent much time thinking about the challenges faced by introverts until she observed how they struggled with exhaustion during the 12 hour days that are typical of the two-week residency period. She confessed that “she had just assumed that everyone was like me, that we all process our thoughts in the same way”. She also recognized that her introverted colleagues were struggling to find a way to contribute to conversations in the group.  But Corinne did something that I think is totally brilliant; she changed her behavior to accommodate the introverts in the group. Recognizing that she needed to talk out loud in order to express her ideas she took to writing her ideas down thereby providing some much needed “air time” for the introverts in the group.  What Corinne observed is not unusual. Introverts often find that they are invisible at work or that they are overlooked for promotions or leadership opportunities. Unfortunately not everyone is as aware as Corinne. It may be cool to be an introvert but in most organizations there is still a need for awareness and education about the challenges that introverts face and the strengths that they bring to the workplace.  The Dynamic Introvert is a unique leadership book that… 1. focuses on the strengths of introverts as leaders 2. provides evidence as to why introverts are effective leaders 3. encourages readers to create a Personal Leadership Development Plan or PLDP 4. offers a unique blend of research and practical ideas 5. provides information about how introverts can manage their energy 6. gives the reader self-coaching questions for each section of the book 7. debunks the myth that extroverts make better leaders than introverts 8. offers practical tips for self-promotion 9. challenges readers to think about introverts in a different way 10. advances the introvert conversation  The Dynamic Introvert is available at the following locations:  Village Books in Richmond, B.C. Odin Books in Vancouver Black Bond Book, various locations AND online!  *Corrine’s name was changed to protect her privacy.  

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What is a Dynamic Introvert?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , ,

What is a Dynamic Introvert? “What is a dynamic introvert?” “What does the title of your book mean?” I was taken by surprise by Colleen’s questions. I thought about them for a moment and then I mumbled something unintelligible. As the author of The Dynamic Introvert and an introvert myself I should have had the answers on the tip of my tongue. Colleen’s questions were “spot on” and my subconscious must have been on overdrive because shortly after I got back home, it hit me: the title* of my book The Dynamic Introvert is a “play on words”. Perhaps not in the truest sense: according to Wikipedia a “play on words” is “a literary technique, a form of wit, in which the words that are used become the main focus of the book.” I certainly didn’t intend for The Dynamic Introvert to be a comedy. My aim was to grab reader’s attention, encouraging them to think about what it means to be an introvert and how our understanding of introverts needs to change. I believe that introverts have been misunderstood for too long and that there is nothing funny about being an introvert when you feel overlooked and undervalued. If I have learned one thing while researching and writing The Dynamic Introvert it is that we are all very different and none of us can be “pigeon holed”. Of course there are introverts who are quiet and reserved. These introverts may prefer their own company to the company of others. But most of the introverts I’ve met along the way defy the way introverts are portrayed. So, back to Colleen’s first question what is a dynamic introvert? One of the most brilliant descriptions of a dynamic introvert comes from Judy Curson, a physician and educator in the UK who wrote “I think many of us are dynamic. We just make less fuss and noise about being dynamic than some extraverts. Our energy and enthusiasm is often hidden from the external world.” Many of us are dynamic in the way that Judy describes. We can be social and dynamic in the same way that extroverts can be dynamic. Words such as gregarious, outgoing, fun, interesting, and energetic could be used in place of dynamic here. These are words that I would use to describe the many dynamic introverts who I know and who could easily be mistaken for extroverts. The difference is that these dynamic introverts need “down time” or time to recharge their batteries. This spring Barry and I spent six days at Yellow Point Lodge on Vancouver Island. Yellow Point Lodge was built in the 1940s and hasn’t changed much over the years, or so I’m told. Guests stay in a variety of rustic cabins. Each cabin is strategically placed so that it faces a body of water called The Stuart Channel. There is also accommodation on the second floor of the main lodge. The main floor of the lodge consists of a large communal dining room, kitchen, offices and a great room which has windows on two sides and a massive stone fireplace on the third. This is where people congregate before and after meals and at any time during the day when they are not outdoors enjoying the spectacular scenery. Meals in the dining room take place around large circular tables that seat 9 or 10 people. At each seating we have the opportunity to meet new people and interact with people we have gotten to know over the years. On the surface it appears that the majority of guests are extroverts, due to their outgoing, friendly behavior. But I now know, having vacationed at Yellow Point Lodge for a number of years that things are not what they seem and in fact many of my fellow guests are in fact dynamic introverts.  What is not so obvious, unless one looks for it, is that these introverted guests often disappear throughout the day to recharge their batteries. They quietly leave the group and return to their rooms or go for solitary walks in the woods. Back to Colleen’s questions: What is a Dynamic Introvert? What does the title of the book mean?   What do you think? Is it a play on words or can introverts be dynamic?   * I owe a great deal of gratitude to my editor and friend Margaret Davidson who came up with the title The Dynamic Introvert.    

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The Changing Face of Diversity Leadership – Why Introverts Need Apply!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , ,

The Changing Face of Diversity Leadership – Why Introverts Need Apply! I’m always on the lookout for new ideas to share with my readers. Recently I participated in a webinar sponsored by Blessing White and Catalyst. Blessing White is a global, employee engagement and leadership development consulting firm while Catalyst is a leading non-profit organization dedicated to creating more inclusive workplaces. These two organizations are known for their global research and their progressive leadership programs and recently they teamed up to provide a new series entitled Leading with Inclusion. Inclusion, which they described as “belongingness and uniqueness” is valued by both men and women around the world. Their findings suggest that workers want to be valued for their contributions, their talents and their experiences. But too much focus on uniqueness can lead to alienation. This might happen if your organization created a leadership development program that focused exclusively on one group. Too much focus on belongingness can lead to workers feeling part of the organization only if they conform to expected behaviors…such as introverts feeling they must act like extroverts in order to succeed. The focus of the webinar was on managing diversity in order to turn it into a competitive advantage. And although a part of me wants to see organizations pay attention to diversity because it is the RIGHT thing to do I realize that in most cases organizations won’t spend money on something that doesn’t have a positive impact on the “bottom line”. The way we approach diversity in North America has shifted over the last 30 years from equal rights legislation to affirmative action to diversity management. But, according to the experts at Blessing White and Catalyst, diversity management is not just about “appreciating differences”. If diversity management is to succeed it must deal with unconscious bias. Most of us are not even aware of the biases that affect our daily decisions. During the webinar we were asked to think about the people that report to us and to write down the names of 2 or 3 people. We were then asked to keep those people in mind as we answered the following questions: Who are you most likely to advocate for? Who are you most likely to engage with socially? Whose past experiences are you most familiar with? Who do you have the most conversations with about career goals, aspirations and development needs? And do these people have similar backgrounds, looks, education, personalities etc.? As human beings we tend to gravitate toward people who are most like us…people we feel most comfortable with. We were also asked to reflect on the people who did not make our list and what happens to those people? Being an inclusive leader is not easy and requires self-awareness and the ability to say yes to the following questions: Do you enable all direct reports to develop and excel? Do you admit mistakes, accept and learn from different points of view? Do you provide personalized feedback to help each member of your team develop his or her talents? Do you seek opportunities to mentor or advise employees from a different background than your own? Of course you don’t need to be in a formal leadership position in order to ask yourself the above questions. Diversity is not a new challenge for employers and a lot has changed in the 30 + years since diversity appeared on the human resources radar but there are still issues that organizations need to pay attention to. The most recent challenge for organizations and the one that Blessing White and Catalyst are trying to find answers to is that talented employees continue to leave organizations in droves because they don’t see a “fit” and they don’t feel supported.        

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Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes! Looking back over my career I’m aware of how often I tried to remain invisible at work. Not that I didn’t want to contribute or make a difference in the organizations that I worked for but more often than not I chose to do this quietly and behind the scenes. Despite keeping a low profile I was often singled out for leadership roles and pushed into the “lime light”*. On at least one occasion I protested this unwanted attention but to no avail and in the end I became the manager of a day hospital for elderly patients. If truth be told this was one of the most satisfying times in my career and I am forever grateful to the senior leaders who saw the potential in me, despite my trying to remain out of their sight and “off the radar”. You see, as an introvert, I was much more comfortable in the role of educator, coach or mentor. I loved networking and connecting people and ideas and coming up with novel solutions to problems. I also loved the concept of community building as it applied to the workplace. But I wanted to do this on my own terms behind the scenes. In other words I wanted to remain invisible! In 2014 David Zweig described invisibles as, “a breed of highly satisfied professionals who are outliers because they eschew wider recognition for their efforts.” In his book, Invisibles: The Power of Anonymous Work In An Age of Relentless Self-Promotion, he identifies people who operate behind the scenes in almost every field yet have a huge impact on the success of the firms they work for. It is ok to be invisible if you want to be and this should come as a relief to introverts who often are encouraged to be gregarious and outgoing. But, having said that, I would urge you to think about your career goals and to find ways to get noticed especially if it means the difference between being happy and satisfied in your work or unhappy and frustrated because you are not achieving the things you want in life. Being invisible is one of the challenges faced by introverts who want to become leaders. In The Dynamic Introvert I write, “We may be so good at “hiding in plain sight” that our ideas are ignored or we are overlooked for plum assignments or job promotions.”  Does this sound like you? Tired of being overlooked? Here are three things that you can do right now: Be clear on your goals and what you want to achieve and develop a plan to help you reach your objectives. If being invisible is important to you then stand tall and let people know why you feel the way you do. Remember, you can still make a difference and feel satisfied by being an “unsung hero”. If you want to raise your profile and move into a more visible role then find ways to manage your energy and get clear on your values. Being clear on what is important to you will make it easier to say “no” when you need to. The Dynamic Introvert book * Although today being “in the limelight” means being at the center of attention in the 19th century it had a very different meaning. The limelight was an extremely bright light used in surveying and as stage lighting. It was first used in the theatre in 1837 at Covent Garden in London.

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How Does Meditation Help Introverts Succeed?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

  How Does Meditation Help Introverts Succeed? The other week I participated in a meditation workshop at Tandava Yoga in Kelowna, B.C. While I was sitting on my mat I started thinking about how meditation might be of benefit to introverts. The purpose of meditation is to help us quiet our minds and over the years research has proven that meditation can help us to, among other things, reduce high blood pressure, sleep better, and improve our body’s immune functioning. In fact, meditation even helps students achieve better grades in school. But how can meditation help introverts to succeed? Stephen A Diamond, PhD writing in Psychology Today suggests that meditation is an “introverted activity one that extroverts should do more of and introverts less”. Diamond argues that introverts need to spend more time extroverting themselves in order to find balance in their lives. Fair enough. Getting back to the meditation class at Tandava Yoga, our instructor informed us that humans are capable of processing 2000 thoughts per hour. Those of you familiar with meditation will know about the “monkey brain” which refers to how our thoughts jump around in our heads not unlike a monkey jumping from tree to tree. I believe that the concept of the “monkey brain” applies equally to both introverts and extroverts. And I have to disagree with Dr. Diamond. Meditation may be an “introverted activity” in that it is typically done quietly but I believe that introverts should spend more time meditating, not less. You see, introverts tend to think too much. We like to spend time in our heads and when this activity is combined with the excess dopamine that naturally occurs in our introverted brains we are in danger of being overstimulated.  And this is what saps our energy and why we need to meditate in order to help us calm down and function better! There are many different types of meditation but the one thing that is common to all of them is learning how to slow down and focus on our breath. I found the following passage from Thich Nhat Hanh. It is called Thinking Less: “While we practice conscious breathing, our thinking will slow down, and we can give ourselves a real rest. Most of the time, we think too much, and mindful breathing helps us to be calm, relaxed, and peaceful…Of course, thinking is important, but quite a lot of our thinking is useless.” As an introvert thinking is my “fall-back position”. Even in a social situation I will often resort to thinking about what is going on or what I might say rather than just saying it. This is the exact opposite of what an extrovert will do. Most extroverts are more comfortable talking and don’t get stuck with words going round and round inside their heads. Meditation is an important skill for introverts to learn. It can help us to get control over our “monkey brain” so that we can focus on what we want to say or do. This is especially true when we are in situations where there are a lot of distractions because these external distractions make it difficult for us to think clearly. Meditation can also provide what Dr. Brian Little calls a “restorative niche”. This is the place we can go to in order to de-stress and re-energize.

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