What Are You Tolerating?
What Are You Tolerating?
As a coach, “what are you tolerating in your life?” is a question that I often ask my clients. The purpose of the question is to help clients understand what might be getting in the way of their moving forward. Today I’d like to explore the question as it applies to our personal energy.
It is difficult to feel energized about anything when one is mired in the detritus of the past. Another way of looking at this is to visualize a large, invisible sack, that you may be carrying around with you. Over the years, you may have found that this sack has become heavier and heavier as you continually add “stuff” to it. The amount and type of “stuff” that can be added is unlimited but people have told me that they feel weighted down by the following:
- Unresolved issues
- Old habits that no longer serve them
- Negative emotions about people or events
- Focusing on past failures
These are things that we tolerate because we can’t or won’t let them go. Of course we all tolerate things that we shouldn’t: jobs that are boring or that don’t challenge us anymore, relationships that are toxic, behaviors (our own and others) that no longer serve us.
Avoiding or tolerating is a huge drain on our energy and something that introverts need to pay particular attention to. According to Marti Olsen Laney in her book The Introvert Advantage, “Genetic research has shown that it takes introverts longer than extroverts to reconstitute themselves when they are depleted.”
I thought about this recently after a friend mentioned her struggle to recover her energy.
Understanding and managing our energy requirements is especially important for introverts, but this is no simple matter as our energy can be affected by numerous things:
- The weather
- Our fitness level
- Our diet
- Our sleep or lack of
- The quality of our relationships
- Our mental and physical health
- Other people’s expectations of us
So, determining which, if any, of the above is affecting us is the first step in getting a handle on understanding our energy needs and how we might go about raising our energy levels. Because there are so many variables affecting our personal energy this may take some time but will be well worth it in the end.
From an early age many of us are taught to accept life as it is. We learn to “get by” or to “tolerate” what is happening in our lives. But we don’t have to do this! We can identify the things that we tolerate and in doing so we can eliminate them from our lives. So, what are you tolerating?
Lesley